You Can Run, But You Cannot Hide

August 3

I almost had him! I went to the laundry room to make some change and there he was, The Shirt Stealer, rifling through a dryer. He was wearing a mask, so I didn’t see his face, but I know he’s tall and thin and smells like Febreeze. Oh, and that he is a COWARD!

He ran from me. Nearly knocked me over trying to get away. I chased him across the grass and into the Student Union, but I lost him. Damn! At least I stopped him from taking any more clothes. And, unfortunately, until further notice the laundry room will be closed. The campus “police” need to come in and investigate. I’ll let you knew when it’s re-opened. You can use the Pioneer Dorm laundry for the time being.



Off The Ledge

July 29

I finally got to use my crisis management training! Some poor girl on the second floor got dumped, and her roommate was gone for the weekend, so she knocked on my door. She was crying, talking about dropping out of school, or maybe something worse. I calmed her down, reassured her and cheered her up. She walked out of my room with her head held high and her spirits renewed.

So… I pretty much rock. I should really start a blog about my rockingness. I would call it Resident Narcissist. And it would be the best thing that’s ever happened in the history of ever. (You get that I’m kidding, right? Ugh, I am the worst narcissist ever.)


Anyone Out There?

July 21

I’ve been wondering if anyone out there is even reading this blog. If they even care that I’m trying.


I’ve been feeling very lonely. No one on the floor is talking to me after the fallout from the Common Room soccer game, and I’m just not interested in my classes.

I knocked on Quiet Guy’s door, but I couldn’t hear him moving, so I don’t think he was in there. Or he just didn’t answer. Has anyone actually spoken to him? Are we sure anyone is even in there? And alive?

I’m giving out a Get Out Of Jail Free card to the first person that notices a smell coming from his room.


P.S. Ashley! I miss you. Got your postcard from Dubai, your trip sounds amazing. Though I can’t imagine it’s better than being here. 😉

Football Bad

July 19

Soccer in the common room??? How is that a good idea? Dents in the wall, a hole in the lampshade, tables turned over… you people are terrible. It’s taken me two hours to fill out all the paperwork about your stupid idea. Can’t you be more like the Quiet Guy who never leaves his room and NEVER causes problems?

And to not even tell me you’re gonna play? I am a champion soccer player! And by that, I of course mean “I have watched David Beckham a lot”. But still!


Next time, let’s all play and then I can keep you from getting in trouble.



The Dirty Dozen

July 17

In the six weeks since the semester has started I’ve had to call maintenance to come down and fix the boy’s bathroom twice. But for the girl’s bathroom? Nine times. 9! Hair clogging drains, makeup dusting the counters, paper towels everywhere. Gross. What is going ON in there?

Is everyone getting a really messy Extreme Makeover, and I don’t know it? Cause if so, I want in!


The Shirt Stealer Strikes Again!

July 6


OK, now it’s personal! I didn’t like it when you took other peoples clothes, but MY Tremper Hoodie? You have gone too far. I will find you, Shirt Stealer. And you better not have done stuff to my sweatshirt!


Beautiful Day

July 1

This state gets a bad rap about its weather.  Yeah, it rains a lot, but when it doesn’t, it’s as beautiful here as it is anywhere.  Look at today’s sunset:


How could anyone want to be anywhere else?

For the first time in a little while, I’m truly glad I’m here.


Odd Jobs On Campus

June 27

We talk about how our generation has so many wild options for their career; how anything you want to do in the world can be done as a job.  And that’s true and it’s awesome.  But I say there’s no need to wait for the “real world” to start that wild ride.  There’s some really interesting jobs you can get on campus right now.  Have you been to the Career Center?

You can sign up to be a:

–    Cereal Spooner in the DLG Cafeteria
–    Mail Runner (literally, you have to run mail across campus.  With your feet.)
–    Night Safety Walker, where a girl can call you to come and walk her home at night (a GREAT job, actually)
–    Test Patient for the Psych Department
–    Reader (that’s what you do.  You read stuff.  Does anyone know more about this?)

That’s a cool list of things to do.

I like odd jobs.  Had one in high school.  Remember how I told you that my hometown has a Jelly Belly Factory? (of course you read that post).  Well, I worked there.  I did quality control.  The machines would reject misshapen beans and we would inspect them to see if they were worth putting back into the system.  If you ever got a jelly bean that was over-sized or shaped like a square, that was me.

You’re welcome.


Drunky Von Drunkenstein

June 20

I just don’t get “drinking”.  I’ve done it before, but I don’t really get why we are supposed to LOVE it so much.  Like going to college means you MUST drink at ANY opportunity.  A glass of wine or the occasional beer is fine, not gonna argue the need for a stiff drink after a hard test or paper, but to get drunk?  All the time?  That I don’t get.

I come from a small town called Pleasant Prairie that loved to drink.  Drinking beer is just what you DID on the weekends.  Big parties up by the lake, stale beer in stolen kegs, red cups stacked higher than barn doors.  I never quite figured out why that was so important, or fun.  Does that make me weird?

This is Pleasant Prairie.  You can see why people have nothing much else to do but drink.  (though we do have the Jelly Belly Factory, which is cool)

But back to the drinking… I get this point: “It’s college, what’s the big deal”.  So.  Let’s do this:

Just fake it around me.  If I see you drunk on my floor, I have to write you up, it’s kind of a RA law.  But I DON’T have to write you up, if I don’t SEE you drunk.  Or if I am bribed.  With cookies.  Ahem.  So tell me you’re not “feeling well”, hand me a chocolate chip and be on your way.  Everyone wins.

Well, maybe not you the next morning, but what can you do?


The Shirt Stealer

June 16

I don’ t know who you are, but whoever is stealing clothes out of he laundry room, needs to stop.  One, that’s not cool.  And two, that’s just gross.  What do you want with someone else’s dirty clothes, anyway?

Lauren in 3D really liked that green top, and apparently the Rangers jersey you took from Darren in 3G meant a lot to him; it would be really cool of you if you would return these items.  Just put them back in the laundry room and we’ll forget about this.

I get that not all of you have a lot of money for new clothes.  But lack of fashion is no reason to turn to a life of crime.